Gorilla Blanket Act I

Jet: Yeah that'd suit me. Im a simple man trying to follow as simple and carefree life as I can. I don't want the fine silverware for the kitchen table or state of the art stereo system in the living room, im going with my heart in this life. All I want is the peace to get on with my art and weekend drinking sessions to be frank with you.

Ben: All week drinking sessions surely Frank?

Luke: Is that why you dropped university?

Jet: Yep of course. I don't want to be shackled to anything and I wasn't getting anything out of uni. I was there just over a year and learned fuck all. Its all well and good learning technique and jargon but its text book, you can't learn style. I developed my own unique fashion way before college.

Louie: Fair enough but its not all about education. Its my first taste of independance, probably most peoples.

Jet: I got my first taste from my father being cruel and my mother a drunk.

Silence for a minute

Jacob: They should scatter screens around this pub with MTV blaring out, perhaps we wouldn't get onto such miserable subjects. Bloody death and university!

Ben: Life.

Luke: Why?

Jet: Who cares?

Louie: And we'll be back in its grey mist on Monday so come on guys, lighten up!

Jacob: Anyone fancy a game of pool?

Luke looks toward the pool table where three more people have joined the two young women and men

Luke: You wouldn't get a ball in edgeways, the night zombies have already started to hover over it.

Jet: The altar is being prepared for the evenings entertainment. I wonder which virgin will be sacrificed on it?

Ben eyes the two women at the pool table up and down

Ben@ Those aren't virgins, they're sharks. I know them, they were in my sisters class in school and by the time they were fifteen they'd seen more beds than Pickford's.

Jacob: Cute.

Louie: They don't look much older than fifteen now.

Ben: Seventeen.

Jacob (adopting a French accent): And the dirt they acquired under the blankets mingles with the make up on their apple faces to foil our gracious landlord. I love the stench of these perfect Pimpernels!

Louie puts a hand on Jacob's forehead

Louie: Its finally happened. The nightly doses of Television X have snapped something in his head, I can feel it clanking.

Luke: Go on the J, get past those lads they're with and make a move.

Jacob looks toward the men who are heavily tattooed and look older than the women

Jacob: My head hasn't gone that shabby.

Jet: Bollocks! Eight more double V's and you'd be fine!

Jacob: Wouldn't anyone? Its the Popeye principle. Spinach equals strength and courage, or in this case alcohol. Which turns the courage Dutch and the strength to mere illusion.

Ben: Hell i think something has definately snapped.

Luke glances to the clock above the bar

Luke: Its almost three. Has Tempathy choked on a chicken drumstick or what?

Ben: Choked on a cherry lipstick more like. She's a woman, it'll be Operation White Foundation at her gaff right now. Or Mascara of the Read Death. She'll put pencils in her eyes, tweezers up her nose, brushes through her hair and the trusty Wonderbra of course, miracle of miracles!

He turns to Louie

Ben: I don't mean all women of course.

Louie grins devilishly

Louie: Oh but its true. And we women need to go through all that because we were blessed with such fine features which can reduce a man into a slobbering mess. I don't think its fair that men spend only five minutes getting ready because all they need, all every bloke needs, is another eight inches.

Louie raises her empty glass

Louie: Whose round is it?

Luke: I'll get these.

Luke wags a finger playfully at Louie

Luke: And before you say it this is not all guys are good for.

Louie: Oh I agree, there must be something else but in the meantime rugby will have to do.

Luke goes to the bar chuckling

Ben: You're beginning to sound like Tempathy.

Louie shakes his knee

Louie: Only a little fun Benjamin, and speaking of fun what are we doing tonight? We're not staying here I hope.

Jet: There's not much else we can do.

Ben: Oh I don't know, the chippy's quite nice at this time of year.

Jacob: Its pretty sad really. Look

He lifts his jumper to reveal a small paunch

Jacob: This is through haunting pubs and take away joints.

Luke arrives with more drinks and wolf whistles

Luke: Why don't you get on the table and belly dance?

Jacob: I'm fat.

Jet: Alright then, get on the table and have a crisis.

Jacob: Ha bloody ha. I'm taking up tennis or something.

Louie: You're not fat you drama queen.

Luke: That'll cheer tubby up.

Jacob: Squash is supposed to be good for getting in shape isn't it?

Luke: With or without gin?

Jacob: Oh whats the point?

He lights a cigarette

Jet: There you go, take up cancer.

Louie: Sick.

Ben: Its healthier than taking up a sport anyway. Most of these fitness fanatics end up littering the street clutching their dying chests. Take Bruce Lee for example, jogging, kicking and punching everywhere. He didn't drink or smoke, dead at thirty three.KO'd by grand daddy reaper.

Luke: Then there's George Best.

Ben: Who can forget the great and not so late Besty!