Gorilla Blanket Act I

Gorilla Blanket by Steven Francis

Characters:

Luke - Student
Ben - Student
Jacob - Student
Jet - Painter/Photographer
Tempathy - Junior journalist
Lisa - Hotel Receptionist
Louie - Student with desire to travel


Act One

Curtain Rises

Saturday afternoon. Jukebox playing. The pub landlord has finished with the table mats and is watering home grown regulars. Some have mud from the rugby pitch on their knees, others still have the whiskers of the night before warm on their faces.
It is the weekend before the new term in university. Three friends sit next to the jukebox. Luke is trying to get Ben to order a pint with an egg in it.

Ben: Will you shut up.

Luke: Look im serious, a beer with a fresh egg is cure for any hangover. You have to bolt it down in one and try to ignore the egg, which looks like a yellowing tadpole swimming in....

Ben: Will you ever listen? Piss off!

Luke turns to Jacob who is choosing songs on the jukebox.

Luke: What do you say J? I'm sure the landlord wouldn't charge extra for the egg.

Jacob (facing the jukebox): Never, and while you're there ask him when he got these records changed last. I don't think this machine has anything more recent than bloody Whitesnake.

Ben: He likes to keep his customers quiet.

He looks around at people in hushed conversation.

Ben: And one way to do it is to bore them with old jangles. Still it keeps him happy at least.

Luke: Go and ask for an egg then.

Ben: Oh Christ,will you shut up about eggs? Here stick one of these in your gob.

Ben hands Luke a cigarette and offers one to Jacob who is feeding coins into the jukebox.

Jacob: No thanks, im trying to quit.

Luke: Yeah right, i'll give it another two drinks!

Jacob sits at the table.

Jacob: Two? You're both confidence of my success then.

Ben: Of course. What music did you choose?

Before Jacob can answer, Nirvana begin to scream.

Luke: I hate to criticise J but this is definately not the sound of a Saturday afternoon. Its fine for Saturday evening in a club where its too dark to see or care but afternoons need something light, a kind of ready salted flavour. Blur would be good.

Jacob: Its taken care of. Speaking of ready salted, anyone fancy a packet?

Luke finishes his beer and shakes the glass.

Luke: Nope but its your round.

Jacob counts the glasses on the table.

Ben: Come on shifty, dig deep. Same again and hold the egg.

Jacob gathers the empties.

Jacob: The price of survival in a dead town.

He goes to order the drinks and looks around. The pub has slowly begun to fill. A few old men sit at a long table before an assortment of pipes, tobacco pouches and black as tar ale. He listens as they talk quietly in english then suddenly explode into Welsh between laughter.
He looks toward the pool table where two young women are being admired by three men across the bar. Through into the lounge he spots a couple whispering like two snakes, snugly coiled around their fizzy glasses.
The landlord finished pouring the pints and brings a packet of crisps from the back room.

Landlord: Six pound fifty please.

Jacob: Right, now lets see.

He fishes in his pocket, pulls out a fistful of coins and counts out the amount on the bar.

Landlord: You would be safe in a hurricane with that lot of shrapnel.

Enter Tempathy carrying two carrier bags.

Jacob: Not this hurricane I won't.

He turns to Tempathy who is setting the bags down next to Luke and Ben.

Jacob: Vodka and lemonade?

Tempathy: Very little lemonade. (She indicates with her fingers)

Jacob pays for the drinks and re joins the table. Luke takes a glass from the tray and looks at the bags.

Luke: Ah there's sweet. Gifts to take back to uni along with our hangovers.

Tempathy blows him a kiss.

Tempathy: For your hangovers. These are nothing to do with me, they're Lisas. I took her into town this morning, she wanted new shoes for work. Then we bumped into Thomas in a coffee bar.

Ben: Thomas?

Tempathy (lighting a cigarette): Oh some chap she met out clubbing a few weeks ago. Anyway he joined us for coffee and she went as dizzy as a mouldy kitten, so I told her I'd take her stuff home before she began lapping her cappucino.

Luke: Whats he like this knight in shining cotton?

Tempathy: Not too bright I think. From what I could gather the only thing shining with him was congealed on his head. But no doubt he'll charm his way into her knickers like a reptile and shower her with flowers, then maybe marriage and kids. Then he'll grow a beer belly and sink into an armchair for the rest of his life while she throws tv dinners at him and tries to convince the elders of the bingo hall that she could have been someone.

Jacob: Jesus! Careful with that venom.

Luke: The ice maiden hath spoken on Love!

Tempathy raises her glass.

Tempathy: To hell with it!

She drains her glass and there is a minutes silence.

Ben: I don't think Lisa would fall for that lifestyle.

Luke: You can't say for certain.

Ben: No I don't think she would. I don't think any of our group would, we're all too....

Jacob: Antisocial?

Laughs

Ben: No we're too careful with our hearts, too intent on better things.

Luke: Bloody hell! Did you get that from the back of a LP? It sounded like the lyric to an old Sinatra number!

More laughter

Tempathy: Jet would have put it better. Could you see him settling down?

Jacob: Jet couldn't settle down in a mogadon factory.

Luke: Thats true, he's always on fire. He's like a fucking dragon.

Tempathy: He can get quite pretty in those dark moods of his. What was it he said once? 'I play for immediate pleasure with prolonged agony.'

Ben: Yeah thats him alright.

Luke: What the hell does it mean?

Tempathy: Im not hundred percent sure. He said it when we were both drunk at his house. He just came out with it as we finished off the bottle and its haunted me ever since. It seems to describe him perfectly though, like he's hurt.

She looks at the clock above the bar.

Tempathy: Anyway where is he? Its almost one, he can't still be suffering from last night.

Ben: Jett hungover? I don't believe it for a second.

Luke: He's with Louie isn't he? They went back to his place last night after the pub to carry on drinking.

Ben finishes his drink and stands up.

Ben: They'll be here soon. I'll get more drinks.

Tempathy reaches for the bags.

Tempathy: Not for me thanks.

Luke: What? You only just got here.

Tempathy: Im not looking after Lisa's shopping all day and evening. I'll be back after lunch.

She waves to them and exits.

Ben brings a tray of drinks.

Jacob: Methinks that frosty tigress is more than a little fond of our Jet.

He winks into his drink.

Ben: Leave it out J. Don't you remember when she went out with that Willis guy in school? She fell in Love big time. I even heard talk of engagement. Just short of a year that lasted and by the time it ended he'd slept with half the third year girls. I don't think she's trusted men since. I mean she's said herself she's fine without the love fuss.

Jacob (nodding): You could be right, she ain't been out with anyone since that episode thats for sure.

Luke: Crap. She'll settle down one day. I love Tempathy to bits and I know she loves her job and independence and all that, but the 'im-alright-by-myself' attitude of hers is just an act.

Ben: She seems adamant about it to me.

Luke moves closer to Ben

Luke: You don't read women like I do Benjamin.

He sits back

Luke: We've all been friends since school and she's done her fair share of flirting throughout. Look at her, she knows she's beautiful and loves it when blokes hit on her. I've seen her moves before.

Jacob: I wouldn't mind seeing her moves!

Ben: I wondered when your sap would begin to rise.

Jacob: Hey we should go to that new club thats opened in town tonight, Mischief's. Its sort of a strip club, give the girls a few quid and they dance on your table.

Ben: Holy smokes!

Jacob: And you never know, they might do extras.

He rubs his hands excitedly

Luke: And wake up to find your dick's fallen off.

Ben: Imagine it. A busty blonde giving her all on your table, smoke from your cigarette curling around her legs. You take her back to some crusty hotel for the night with cheap, flat chanpagne only to wake up the next morning to discover the wench has made off with your wallet and find your family jewels encrusted in green pus.

Luke and Jacob crunch their faces in disgust

Luke: Fucking hell Ben, gross!

Jacob: He has to ruin the scene.

Ben: Not at all, its just that im a realist whilst you J are a porn casualty.

He wags a finger at Jacob

Jacob: What do you mean casualty? Its not me on the screen having some ridiculously well hung guy shoving his gift up my butt! I might be helping the porno company exploit a few more starry eyed does by buying pornography....

Luke: At fifty quid a throw. No children or goats.

Jacob: But take a look at some of the women who appear in skin flicks. I figure their only other career prospects would be sitting in for crash test dummies.

Enter Jet and Louie

They wave to the table and head to the bar